blearily emotionless

No, I'm still not excited yet. Still not as prepared as I'd like to be. But you know what? I'm more tired than ever!

I thought with the week off from work, I may have some time off for myself. A mini break, with no worries. Just finalising stuff and making sure I've got my things ready to go into the luggage bag. Little things popped up here and there, more advice from kind souls, tips to take note and more things added itself to my original list.

And then, there's the goodbyes I had to say. Even though my last day was Friday, I came back Monday to tidy up some loose ends and wanting to say goodbye properly. I had to make do with a short email to those on my address book, a short one with no details. Just concise, telling them I was resigning and to stop emailing me at the office address.

This week, I've gotten more things crossed off the list - my laptop arrived yesterday! I managed to test out the system and tried out my new webcam. A nifty little gift from my darling grrlfriends, for birthday and farewell. Yes, now with the advancement of technology, you can view Niigata sceneries from the comforts of your home, minus the biting cold and billowing wind.

And then, there's the hordes of fans various groups of friends who want to meet me before I go. It gets sadder with each farewell. I have no choice but to still sound like a broken tape recorder because they don't read my blog. Because I'm already so exhausted, I think my emotion bank also became empty.

I think at this point, I'm quite incapable of showing real emotions! I feel sad and teary inside, but they're not showing outside. I hope my adoring fans understanding friends will give me the benefit of doubt for looking so aloof and unaffected by their deeds and words.

Wait till I get to Niigata and when I'm feeling lonely and the reality of leaving the comforts of home starts to sink in. I'll switch on my webcam, and you will get to see me crying. Of course, all these within the comforts of your home, at no extra charge, heh!